We are not the easiest times, crises replace one another, a policy with the economy is feverish, reasoning about happiness may seem inappropriate. And yet this is what we are talking about with the psychotherapist https://urban-forests.com/wp-content/pgs/in-depth-review-what-makes-betswagger-casino-stand-out.html Viktor Kagan.
Psychologies: Is it not immoral to want happiness for yourself when many around are bad?
Victor Kagan: I think it is immoral to raise the question of whether a person has the right to be happy. The Soviet government denied us individual happiness, it was believed that only collective, and if yours, individual, then according to the patterns made by the team.
But in the American Declaration of Independence there is a item with which I completely agree: everyone has the right to strive to happiness, as he understands him. Another question is what I do for my happiness. If I walk over the heads of others, I break the world for my goals, it is immoral, yes. But you are unlikely to become happy, and I am not a specialist in morality.
Does our happiness depend on the environment?
Depends, but not determined by it. I recall someone’s photograph of October 1941-the heat at the bus stop, going into evacuation went out to pick up boiling water, are standing at the carriage, they talk about something and laugh … They laugh remarkably-I thought that today we can hardly laugh today. Their life continues, why shouldn’t they be happy?
When I do not accept what is happening, my reactions are rejecting, depression or aggression. And when you accept reality, you begin to think about how to live in new conditions now. Much depends on our attitude to what is happening and to ourselves. One will be unhappy, having lost 15% of the three millionaire business, and the other is happy, because it remained without work, but alive! One is unhappy that there is no Hamon, and the other thinks: there is a reason to try something new.
Still, it is difficult to enjoy life when you do not know that you will eat tomorrow ..
While the main needs are not satisfied and not enough vital, I can accept satisfaction for happiness. The level of happiness grows as needs satisfy, but then goes to the plateau and at some point will fall. The people say about this – “they are furious with fat”, but this happens when the needs are satisfied, and life goals are unclear: I have everything, but why?
If you ask Viktor Frankl, who survived in a concentration camp, whether he had a happy life, I think he would have replied that yes
Do you have a definition of happiness?
I like the definition that one 11-year-old boy gave: his dad died young from a heart attack, and his mother tried to arrange his life, settled him with aunts, visited him, called him, but less and less often. Aunts turned to me because he had difficulties at school. And it was just the day after his birthday, when my mother did not call and did not come. And he told me: “Happiness is when you are loved by those whom you love”.
We think about happiness when we are missing something. We are not talking about something else – “Lucky!”, Bearing in mind that he is the same as we. We notice when he is happier than us. And when we are asked what is needed for happiness, we call what is missing at the moment.
They say happiness can be measured ..
If you cannot even determine, then how to measure? There are two sides of happiness – a sharp, strong feeling that does not last long. And there is a happy life: this is how my life is good for me, how much it is for me. But this does not mean that everything that happens to me is continuous happiness. If you ask Viktor Frankl, who survived in a concentration camp, whether he had a happy life, I think he would have replied that yes. But I do not know a single one for all recipes of happiness, nor ways to measure it.
But there is still one recipe – “stop worrying and start living” ..
Absolutely impossible! How can I not worry? While I’m alive, I’m worried. He opened his eyes, the sun shines – the body answered with a slight stress – that it is in the eyes? Then he caught on why the cat does not purr. Then I want to write – get up now or after 10 minutes? We are constantly worried.
The second impossible advice is “Hold yourself in your hands”. I always want to ask: for what place, behind the throat? Such grandmother’s psychotherapy even a dime a dozen, but they do not work. Another thing is that you can worry – and be happy. You can even suffer – and be happy. Were the Protopop Avvakum, Grigory Skovoroda? I think yes. Because they had a feeling of movement along their life path, the feeling – “I do what I should do”.
Lonely a hermit on the mountain? He is in isolation. But he, firstly, is in touch with God, and secondly, in touch with the remaining in the valley. He knows that they know that he is praying here, in his inner space he is not alone and may be happy. And we suffer that they put us in isolation ..
But the hermit is there of his own free will, but we are not!
One way to live your life is to choose your own path even in a non -freedom situation and remain free. Overcome not only walls, but also their own restrictions. And for this you need to return to yourself.
Sometimes you see how many mistakes have made in life, and regret it. But, stepping aside, you understand that the only possible way has been leaning.
I have a patient who was quarantine even by the way, because she habitually ignored all her anxiety on the run. And here in the forced solitude there was time to think. With tears, hard, she worries, but finally thinks. Perhaps she will say one day: quarantine is bad, but it’s good that in my life he was.